Apparently everyone wants to be famous.
I was at work one morning and I happened to look up at the television and I saw Hoda and Jenna (I’m pretty sure it was them) saying that their “documentary of the month” was something called Fake Famous which you could watch on HBO Max. The volume was off so I could not hear what they were saying, I only read what was displayed on the screen. Honestly, all I can remember seeing at this time is people with cellphones taking selfies in front of a pink wall. Without knowing what it was about, I knew it had something to do with social media. Anything talking about the inner workings of social media immediately has my attention.
If you are reading this you probably already know I have a hate-hate-love relationship with social media. And watching this documentary did not help.
I plan on insisting on my daughter to watch it. But I also encourage anyone who is on social media (especially but not limited to Instagram) to watch this. It is actually disgusting what people do to “become famous”. I always knew the fakery of IG was real, but…
The documentary starts with a casting call of sorts looking for people who want to be internet famous. AKA an “influencer”. Thousands of people applied and of those thousands it was narrowed down to three average people with no remarkable skills that would get them noticed without help of this production.
I don’t want to say anything more about the specifics of the documentary – usually because whenever I talk about what shocks and awes me about the internet I am usually met with…
I am not hip to the inner workings of social media. The internet I grew up on was before social media. The internet where you could not buy followers, likes or comments. The internet where actually being yourself got you somewhere. You did not need to pretend you lived somewhere amazing, or traveled to amazing places.
2020 was a rough internet year for me. Probably the hardest year online that I have had since my AOL days. I thought everyone being stuck at home with nothing better to do would show how people. And I did, it just not what I was expecting at all. People were mean and rude and completely unforgiving. For a long time I kept reading posts from people talking about how toxic the whole thing was. Honestly, I always thought those people were being dramatic. Toxic seemed to be quite an adjective to be used to describe an online community. But I see it now and really have no desire to be apart of it. Especially after seeing Fake Famous.
I actually made this decision and post weeks before seeing Fake Famous which just solidified what I had been feeling. I have forced myself to post a few stories, but my heart is just not into it anymore.
I have no desire to be an bookstagram influencer, or any other kind of influencer to be honest. One of the people of the guys selected for this project said it best, “I would rather be broke and real then rich and fake”.
Once upon a time I did want to be an influencer of sorts. I wanted to be the type of account I would want to follow. I wanted to be the working mom who was there for other working moms. Who said it was okay to work and be a mom and have hobbies and make time for yourself. Who said it was okay to enjoy that glass of wine, or stay up too late watching Netflix. The mom who sometimes doesn’t always like her kids, but always loves them. But I never became that mom. I was always that mom but I got lost behind the INFLUENCER moms who were promoting their skinny teas and all white living spaces. The moms who were selling the “perfect” life.
I will always choose real. Authentic. True. Genuine. And after all these years of trying to put myself out there in hopes of being notice. To be considered “worthy” I am throwing in the towel. So thank you Nick Bilton for creating this documentary. For telling this story. For hopefully opening the heart, minds and eyes of social media users.
I’ll keep my accounts because who knows, one day….. Idk who I’m kidding. I am keeping my accounts because they are my name and I do not want someone else using my name. Maybe I’ll use it again, maybe I won’t. All I know for sure at this point is that I have no desire to be famous.