Positivity Does Not Equal Happiness

There seems to be something about positivity. Somewhere along the line it became equated to being happy which especially lately I never quite understood.

Staying positive doesn’t mean that you have to be happy all the time, it means that even on hard days you know that there are better ones coming.

During every stage of this pandemic I have erred on the side of being positive. Even though I have been wrong at every moment when I said that this can not drag out for x-amount of time. Honestly, I never imagined a month ago that the world (NY specifically) would be still shut down the way it is. At the time of this writing, my kids will be out of school for a month and a half – that is insane.

To say I was pretty disappointed that our world will be shut down until at least the end of April now is an understatement. But I am still being positive that at least by the beginning of May we can start getting back to normal. I am not completely deluision, this coronavirus stuff will be in our lives for months, if not forever.

Everywhere you turn, there is negativity. Some people call it realistic. I don’t buy that. If those people were being realistic they would be looking at all the information provided. Not just one source. If dwelling in the negative makes you somehow feel better, have at it but I don’t need it or want it.

Let me be really clear though, just because I am trying to be positive during all this it does not mean I am happy. Just because I am not happy does not mean I am sad. In reality, I am stressed, and anxious. I am not in a big rush to go anywhere in particular but I am tired of hearing about it, talking about it and dealing with it in every aspect of my life. I am tired of people talking down to me about it. As if I do not realize what is going on. I worry about my kids who have been stuck at home all of this time – unable to see friends and over keeping in touch with them online via text and facetime calls. I worry about all my loved ones and their jobs. I worry about my own job at some point because with everything closed there is no tax revenue coming in.

It is stressful to be the person with a different opinion on all this and to be completely disregarded. Even when I point to facts that have been put out there by different and many government officials. It is stressful to be at work and listen to people feel like they should not be using their sick time if they have to be out for testing. I understand that different government agencies are not working that way but my thought is shouldn’t you be happy that you at least have the time to use instead of just not being paid like so many Americans right now.

Just last night I was telling my husband it is easier to just go grocery shopping than it is to try and get groceries delivered. It is almost impossible to secure a time. My sister told me one week she woke up at 2A to secure a delivery time. Forget that. I know how to stay six feet away from people – I was doing that before all this. It is easier to just get up and go early on Saturday morning. I’ll even wear a mask now that I have one. Only at the beginning of all this did I have a problem getting anything. Other than work and a once a week grocery store trip – that is it. I am home.

I feel like the last few years I have been “training” for this moment. To be positive when times are tough and remember to stay calm and look at the entire picture. The only thing that keeps me from completely losing it all is knowing that everyone is dealing with this. Everyone is struggling in one way or another. I can only encourage people to limit their news consumption. It is important to be informed but it is just as important to keep yourself sane. There is so much information out there it is hard to tell what is accurate or good information and what is not. Social media certainly does not help.

In the end, all I am trying to say is it is okay to be positive during this unbelievable time in our lives. That positive does not equal happiness. You can be positive without necessarily being happy. Just like you can be happy and be king or queen of negativity.

Just because you’re home does not mean you have to spend that time being productive. It is not necessary to use this time to learn a new language or some other impossible task you have put off for years. It is totally acceptable to binge watch and sleep – that is what I have been doing with my time not spent at work. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I just want to veg. Even though it sounds like a touch of depression on my part, I am still confident that the end is nearer than we think it is. This is not sustainable, especially with such nice weather among us now.

Stay well, stay healthy. What goes down, must go up. This too shall pass…

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