Valentine’s Day

I spent a lot of years being anti-Valentine’s Day.

I think in some aspect, I still kind of am. This idea that there is ONE DAY a year that we are supposed to show our loved ones how much we love them. And that day is marked on the calendar at February 14.

It may surprise a lot of people, but I love… love. I love a love story. I am a hopeless romantic. So part of me really wants to enjoy Valentine’s Day. But the logical side of me says that it is silly to show your love for someone on one particular day of the year.

It probably goes back to High School, maybe even Middle School.

My school used to sell carnations for Valentine’s Day. Year, after year, I would hope to get just one carnation. And I never got one. Even the years I had a boyfriend. I never got a stupid $1 carnations. I would have friends who at the end of the day would have a handful of carnations.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

And I really did not understand why they all got carnations and I never did.

Then there was the year my High School boyfriend broke up with me on Valentine’s Day.

Or one of my first Valentine’s Day as a mother when my husband was sick and he did nothing for Valentine’s Day.

More recently, the year my husband had surgery on Valentine’s Day and I spent the evening alone watching a movie and eating Chinese food while he slept.

Even today, I had someone telling me basically how hot all these guys think she is and it really just brought me back to being that High Schooler not getting any carnations. I want to be noticed too, married or not. What girl doesn’t want a carnation? Not to mention the familial tension that is causing a lot of stress.

As I write all these significant events out I think maybe it was me. Maybe I just expected too much. I expected something. I expected to be shown love on the day of love.

Now, I don’t expect anything. I try and avoid the day by all costs. I could skip February 14 and be okay. I try and laugh with my husband while we eat Burger King (our own little tradition).

When the kids were little I used to try and do something special on Valentine’s Day to show them my love and I realized I did not want that for me. I did not want them to expect something on this day. I did not want them to think someone only truly showed love on this day.

I will continue to love, love.

I will continue to love romance.

I will show my loved ones I love them on anniversaries and birthdays, or a random Sunday in September.

But I can do without Valentine’s Day – bah humbug.

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