It is not our anniversary.
And it is not Valentine’s Day which is later this week.
This is just the random realization that 2020 marks knowing my husband for 20-years.
Over dinner recently our son asked how we met. Prior to that my husband mentioned something about school and The Boy wondered if it was true. I told him I did not know, I did not go to the same school. Which eventually prompted him to ask how we met.
Sitting across from my husband, I looked up at him, smiled, and said “I catfished your dad”.
That’s not something I could always laugh at. For a lot of years, I would tell people that we met at the movies. (Which is where we actually met after months of talking online).
Apparently the term, CATFISH, is not something the kids use now and days so I had to eventually tell The Boy what it was, and we all laughed. It almost sounds ridiculous now… explaining that for fun my best friend and I would talk to random guys on the internet and tell them that we were older than we were. I could not tell you the reason we did this, but, that is what we did most days after school. And that is how I met my husband.
At some point I had to break the news to my now husband that I was not an 18-19 year old attending one of the local four year colleges. That I was in fact, 15… almost 16… and in High School. My husband at the time was 20-21 years old.
While I met my husband in High School, he was not my “High School Sweetheart”. Because my husband and I spoke for so many years before actually and officially dating, he actually got the “pleasure” of meeting the guy I dated in High School.
Not only knowing someone, but being with someone for 20-years is not always easy. Over the last 20-years, some years were better than others but the older we get the better together we are.
My husband is the only person I have in my life from 20-years ago. By all definitions of friendship, I am not friends with any of the people I knew back them. Except, my husband. Some days it feels like we are more friends than husband/wife, and some days that really bothers me. But I know that relationships ebb and flow.
For years it would bother me that my husband would never make declarations of his love for me on social media. I would be so jealous of my “friends” who’s significant others did that. But again, as I got older I realized that is not what I wanted. Yes, it’s sweet, but then I started noticing the couples that made those amazingly-sweet-lovey-dovey posts were not actually like that IRL.
Whenever I do make posts about us I say that I have grown up with my husband and it is the truth. He has seen me at my best and my worst. He watched my graduate college and has always supported me. He is always there when I need him to be and he is not afraid to call me out on my bullshit. He is there for me in ways that Instagram or Facebook cannot capture.
If you were to tell me 20-years ago that we would be married with two kids I would not believe you. 20-years ago I was just talking to this cute guy on the internet. I would never have imagined I would know him for half my life.
I know it does not work out for many people, meeting so young. And I do not wish that either of my kids meet their forever date so young, but if they do, I hope they are as lucky and their mother and father. I hope that they are friends and partners before anything else.
Sometimes I forget how fortunate I am. I sometimes get really envious of the over the top couples, but then I remember we have a relationship that has lasted 20-years. We were friends before we were anything else.