sometimes people will stay in your heart but not in your life.
The internet tells me that today it the International Day of Friendship. I swear to Bob every day is a day on the internet.
When you google Day of Friendship Wikipedia will tell you it is an actual day celebrated in Latin America and Asian. It was started in 1958 in Paraguay. And if you actually click on the Wikipedia link and read it will eventually tell you that yes, Day of Friendship is basically a Hallmark holiday that people dismissed because it was just a gimmick. And then social media happened and the transition of the phone pound symbol to the hashtag.
On days like this I drink the haterade IN GALLONS. Not only because they are fake holidays but because I am not in a position to celebrate them. These kind of days remind me of all the “best friends” I have lost over the years. I can think back to every close friendship I had and see where the spark fizzled out. I cannot tell you why, but I can remember all the times I tried to make plans with someone to be completely forgotten about. Or the times a group of friends went out without even inviting me. Or the friend I thought I lost after High School, reconnected during college, to have lost touch with after the birth of their child.
I know the people that come into our lives are not always meant to stay there forever. I understand sometimes friendships just run their course; people change, some people grow up and some people don’t. But I can still be envious of the people who have a core group of friends that they can always count on. That they regularly make plans with. Friends they have things in common with.
It is so true, it becomes harder to make friends as adults. We are stuck in our ways. I find myself to be flexible to others and their interests to find out they are not necessarily flexible to mine. And I have reached a point in my life where that is okay. I stopped trying to force myself to enjoy the things that no longer bring my joy like late nights out with a lot of people and drinking.
I see my kids with their groups of friends and I am both envious and hopeful. I hope they never lose those friendships or find the ability to build upon them. I am terrified for my daughter as she enters a new school in the Fall – she has been with a group of friends all throughout elementary school and there is a good chance the group will be split up. I hope they have the where with all to keep in touch.
If you are fortunate enough to have not only one good friend, but a group of them, cherish them. Know that some of us are not as lucky. Some of us are still trying to find our tribe.