I did not end up canceling my membership last month like I was wanting to so canceling at this point will cost me an extra $20… so I’ll keep it.
But, I’m back on the wagon.
I took a month off from Instagram which led to me taking a month off of everything, including the workout routine I’ve become accustomed to for the past year. And I stopped giving a shit about what I was eating – more so how much I was drinking (every night).
When I stepped on the scale by chance the other day for some reason I was surprised to see it had gone up. Not sure what the fuck I was thinking. My clothes all fit mostly the same but I did not like the number on the scale at all.
A few days before that I put on my favorite pair of shorts I got two years ago. They were more snug than I remember them being. Two years ago I had actually lost some weight, enough where they were loose but not too big. I liked the way they fit. I unhappily assumed maybe it was just time to go up another size… so I looked at the size of the shorts and they were already a size bigger than I’d normally wear (mostly because of the style of jeans; boyfriend style – so like men’s who have no hips or butt).
Coming off April where I did nothing, it was hard to get motivated to do much in May. Didn’t help that school is winding down, work is ramping up and I didn’t make much effort to make the time workout last I did just a year ago.
When I joined three months ago I thought by this time I’d feel better about myself. I’d be at least ten pounds lighter. Instead, not saying that I feel bad about myself but, I’m three pounds heavier then the heaviest I’ve ever been.