I am sitting on my front deck at around 6pm on a Saturday in April.
The weather is “perfect”; a comfortable 63* my phone tells me. (I only throw the word perfect into quotes because the term is relative and differing to everything). And I have a pretty good buzz going on due to the two LARGE glasses of wine I poured after I finished my ladywork inside.
The boy is currently in the backyard, Beats earbuds in ear, digging up the yard to uncover the septic tank that needs to be pumped in the coming weeks. The girl is on the side of the house, replanting flowers that never grew in their original homes. The husband just walked out of the downstairs door, shelving in hand, to go reorganize one of the three sheds that our backyard holds and it just occurred to me how good I actually have it. How thankful I am to be living this life.
This is not a eureka moment. I almost every day I get the pleasure of dealing with people who are living lives much more strenuous than my own. People who have a hard time just getting along with their child’s parent. People who are simply just having a hard time. And I realize all of my small complaints really are “first world problems”. They are annoyances but they do not compare to what most of the world has to deal with.
I am sure I have spoken about this before because when these moments come to me I almost always feel like I need to share them. To remind people that simple is okay.
I cannot find the words to explain how I felt watching my husband come out of the downstairs store and tell me about the shelves. As I just sat on the deck drinking my wine and trying really hard to concentrate on what is going on in the book I just started.
Sometimes I feel lost. I feel like since I don’t have a “great dream” that I am missing out. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I never had a strong desire (or any for that matter) to be a mother or a wife but here I am, unable to imagine life any different. I wholeheartedly believe that we are all destined to do certain things. And in this moment I really feel like I am destined to be a mother. Some days I am okay with that, and sometimes I am not. But I have to assume that is just a part of life. All of that being said I will always be a mother but I know there will come a time in life where I am able to focus more of my 24-hours in a day on something else. Something else I will be destined for at that time.
We don’t have a beautiful house or drive fancy cars. But we have a home, that is ours. Our bills are paid and for the most part, we don’t fight. I truly feel like my husband and I, are a team (even though there are some days I wonder how we even work). We have our health and ours kids are funny, smart and kind. I really cannot ask for more.
In society I truly feel that we lose sight of those small victories.
We forget that those small victories will out last the big ones.
The ability to sit back and reflect does not come often to me. I (like many) are so busy trying to accomplish all of the things on our every growing to-do lists that we forget to just stop and look. To sit still. To take it all in.
I have to imagine it is true, that there are so many people out there that would give anything to just have a sliver of what you have so you owe it not only to yourself, but to those people to appreciate it.
Just taking the time to appreciate the simplicity of life is worth so much more than any Facebook post or Instagram post could caption. I don’t feel like I can even appropriately capture it in words. This feeling definitely comes from the inside and can not be solidified.
I encourage you to just take a moment. Look around you. Don’t say a word. Just take it all in. Take in the simplicity which is your life and learn to appreciate it for what it is instead of constantly trying to improve on what is “wrong”.