Have you ever heard of someone planning a divorce?
I know I have not. But it is something I heard recently from someone who is married. This person has a five-year plan, which involves divorcing their significant other.
To each his own, but I would think someone would try and save their marriage opposed to planning their divorce. Now, this does not apply to anyone who is involved in a toxic relationship of any kind, including but not limited to abuse of any kind. If anyone is involved in such a relationship, run… as fast as you can.
As far as I know, that is not the case with this relationship. While I have never actually met the other half, they do not seem that bad. I know the “not seeming that bad” is not a real thing. Some very abusive spouses on the surface have “not seemed that bad”. But something in my gut tells me this person is really not that bad.
The person I know is trying to find a new job to better suit said planned divorce. They do not want their current work schedule to come up as an issue during a custody hearing.
I know not every, or any, a relationship is perfect. Every relationship has its issues.
Honestly, just listening to this person – they’re not happy. But what is being happy?
From what I have heard, it’s the “little things” that bother this person. It is an idea of what a parent/spouse should be doing versus the reality of their situation.
I have spent YEARS fighting that battle. Wanting my husband to be a certain way and being disappointed when the thoughts never become reality despite the tears of disappointment that stream down my face.
But isn’t that what being in a relationship with someone is about? What having children is about? Two different lives joining together to become one. Hoping our children take the best parts of each of us into their future.
I hope in the long run a divorce does not become a reality for this couple. As someone who never saw herself being married; I certainly do not ever want to go through a divorce. After 30-something years, my parents are still together. So I do not know what divorce truly is. I don’t know outside of toxicity or abuse, what can be gained from a divorce.
Happiness can not be bought or sold. It can not be determined by a judge or attorneys in a court.
In my opinion, if the time is available to plan a perfect divorce. Time is available to try and correct the mistakes that were made. But this is all the opinion of a hopeless romantic. There is a reason it is easier to get married than it is to divorce…