When Something Is Important

What do you do when something is important to you, but not to your significant other?

This is one of my biggest pet peeves.

When something is important to you I have to stop what I am doing; pay attention, have a conversation and ultimately do what you want to do because you don’t actually want my opinion – you want me to agree with you.

I get it. It is the circle of life.

But now I want to make a decision; change the way of life possible. I want to have a discussion, weigh the pros and cons and make a decision TOGETHER. I go through the process of gathering the appropriate information from the powers that be. I google the shit out of the topic. I’m ready to have a conversation.


It is now a month later. Still no real conversation. But in that month you have gone above and beyond for your work meetings. I have had to listen to basically all the meeting minutes. I made comments and suggestions that were quickly disregarded.

I quickly stopped responding. I realized I was wasting my breath.

We still have not gone over the information I wanted to sit down and have a conversation about. It is something that is important; it is something that had I thought about it and implemented this year would have saved us a lot of money. It is health insurance coverage.

Health insurance is important.

I’m not talking about trying to buy a Cello for Thing 2.

Health insurance is something that has always been a thing for you. It has been something that whenever it changed through your job sparked a MANDATORY conversation for us.

Understandably so.

For 11-years we have been taking the health insurance buy-out from my job and we paid for “traditional” health insurance through your job. Last year we changed the type of insurance we had through your job. It made me really nervous to switch off the type of health insurance I was used to but it was going to save us thousands of dollars; we’re a relatively healthy family.

Last year Thing 2 broke her finger.

This year, you broke your ankle.

The broken finger expenses were covered by the FSA card that we had. The FSA card what we killed this year with just your ankle.

What will next year hold for us?

Should I maybe forgo the medical buy-out and get health insurance through my job to maybe offset those potential future costs?

I use and look forward to that buy-out every year. That buy-out goes to paying off bills at the end of the year.  But I am trying to look at the bigger picture here.  I am trying to not have to stress about thousands of dollars of potential medical bills. Is that not the point of having health insurance?

But it is not important enough for you is what I take your lack of conversation to be about. I get more a response when I tell you I am thinking about getting a new laptop.

I told you about how I THOUGHT it would work with having double insurance. I did my own research. Coordination of benefits anyone? Like I’m talking 98% sure of how it would work.

Okay, we can try it for a year.

I went to bed not angry, but annoyed. Why am I so easily disregarded?

I woke up angry this morning. No respect.

Fine, I’ll figure out what I’m doing with insurance through my job.

We are in a unique position with having access to two health insurance plans.

I angrily decide we’ll just stay the status quo.

How much more harmful are the consequences of anger and grief than the circumstances that aroused them in us – Marcus Aurelius

This was this morning’s Daily Stoic. And it was so appropriate.

Today’s stoic basically says, “if you find yourself in a hole, stop digging”.  Which means as a society we get angry and feel unfairly treated and then we just REACT to those feelings. (As I raise my hand in personal agreeance)

The passage then goes on to tell us not to make things worse. Don’t add anger or negative emotions to the equation. Don’t react. Just leave it and plan your way out.



So I am going to stop digging. I am not going to react. I am going to plan.

Thanks for sitting down and talking to me about this.

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