I use the term finally loosely but… FINALLY a book that says its okay to be your fucking self!
I have written and scratched this review at least four times. I can not find proper words to say GO READ THIS BOOK! I don’t want to say go read it if you’ve found yourself floundering all your life trying to “find your tribe” because it is more than that.
Just read this book.
It is for those that either already have their “tribe” or for those that after 30 years are still looking for theirs. *raises hand*
“You are only free when you realize you belong no place – you belong every place – no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.”
That quote, by Dr Maya Angelou echos throughout the book. At first it did not make much sense to the author, Ms Brown, of myself honestly. But as you read this book it will slowly start to make sense.
I have spent a better part, scratch that, my ENTIRE life trying to “fit in”. I’ve always lived outside the box. Not on purpose; completely by happen-stance. I still continue to live outside that box. I don’t agree with people that are around me just because they’re around me. I don’t follow popular opinion. I have my truths that I believe in firmly and that have not yet led me astray.
And that is what this book celebrates, or more so, encourages. It encourages finding yourself and BEING YOURSELF.
“You have a squad, but it’s small and not everyone in your squad is going to agree or do the same thing. But truthfully, you hate those kinds of squads anyway.”
I am one of those people that will tell you how it is. Unapologetically. I will share with you my opinions, unapologetically. But I am also someone who will acknowledge when I am wrong. I have yet to meet too many people like it. But I know a lot of people that will agree to agree and be accepted. Since I have lived so much of my life outside that box I learned at some point that I gain nothing by trying to fit inside that box – by going against my own personal beliefs.
Ms Brown brings up an excellent example of this that I almost highlighted the crap out of my library copy book because it was so spot on. The example is of I believe her husband who says that he understands how she feels (in life) – “the paradox of feeling along but also strong”. He (who is a physician) continues on by saying that he deals with those feelings when parents will get angry with him because he won’t prescribe antibiotics for their child(ren). The parents continue on by saying that “every other pediatrician does it. I’ll go somewhere else”.
People only want to hear what they want to hear. Anything else brings anger.
This is my life.
I’m never trying to get anyone to change their minds about anything but it would be nice if they at least heard me out. I say this an hour after posting on Facebook how I think the flu shot is bullshit – in so many words.
This book reinforced that I should not just shut up and take it. Keep speaking my truths. Despite being a period in time where people only want to talk to people that agree with what they believe in. It’s easier. As a society, we are dehumanizing people.
“On Twitter and Facebook we rapidly push the people with whom we disagree into the dangerous territory of moral exclusion, with little to no accountability, and often in complete anonymity.”
I could go on and on with all the amazing examples this book provided. But at that point I might as well just copy it word for word. If you have any interest in becoming an overall better person, or spent too long trying to find “your tribe” this is the book for you.
Strong Back. Soft Front. Wild Heart.