Hello 2018.

Holy shit. It is officially 2018.

More importantly I am actually writing a blog post I intended to write.

Back to the matter at hand, it is 2018. In June it will be 16 years since I graduated High School. Where has 16 years gone? It feels like it was just yesterday.

Even more scary, in two days my youngest turns ten. How in the holy hell is that even possible. It literally feels like just yesterday we were leaving our apartment at some ungodly hour in the morning, with the car reading a single digit outdoor temperature. Ten years later that car reading is still reading single digits for the outdoor temperature but holy shit it is ten years later.

Other than the fact that time is just FLYING by I don’t have much to say.

Today is really no different than exactly one year ago. Actually, that is not true. I am a few pounds heavier and I have quite a few more gray hairs.

Honestly, I don’t understand the big deal with the New Year. Yes, it is a new calendar year but why wait for January 1st to make grand proclamations about your life. Why January 1st instead of say May 1st? Me personally, I like my birthday as a time of reflection. It’s personal. It’s my day. It is me turning a year older. Not the flip of the calendar.

To add on to that, I don’t believe in resolutions. I haven’t believed in them ever since I learned what they were at a kid. I guess even then I did not understand why we all pick this one particular time to realize we need to get our shit together. Only when I became an adult did I actually start thinking about these “resolutions” and came up with arbitrary ones. Just so I can think I am working towards something.

When I started noticing the number on the scale creeping up… that following January I of course said I wanted to lose weight that following year. Yeah, in New York that’s a problem.

It’s cold as fuck in January in New York. Not to mention the snow. There is no fucking way I am getting up balls early to bundle up, clean the car off and go to the gym. Fuck. That.

The last two year, I wanted to lose 30lbs for my sister’s wedding (which was April 2017). Guess who actually GAINED weight.

Then when I got really into reading I was all I want to read 52 books this year…

That may have well has been the kiss of death. Not a single year since then have I got anywhere near 52 books.

Resolutions are too much pressure. At least for me. Resolutions because another chore. Another thing for me “to-do”. But there are definitely things I hope to achieve in the coming CALENDAR year… I don’t want to call them resolutions. I was originally going to call them Goals but I don’t want to feel like a huge failure should I not meet them. I was watching a video on YouTube earlier today where the creator referenced her Bucket List for 2018. I’m going with that…

2018 BUCKET LIST. 

  • Read. Just, read. I fell off the wagon for most of the year last year. Reading nothing really interesting or worth wild, to me. I felt the social media pressure to be reading certain books. I wasn’t reading for me. 
  • Writing. It’s why I created this blog. I always have ideas for entries but I never set the time aside to actually write them. And by the time I actually sit down to write most of the enthusiasm I had for the topic is gone. 
  • Workout. For my sanity. In the last month or two of the year I got into the habit of working out before work each morning. And. I. Felt. Great. I had such clarity for the day and I just felt good. I’d love if that work lead to a smaller pant size, or the number on the scale going backward but more so for my mental health.
  • Acquire no more debt. Ugh. The bane of our existence. Debt. Two steps forward, three steps back. Overall we are slowly getting there. On the positive we’re finally in a position where we’re saving in addition to paying off debts. There’s just always something. 
  • Leaving people to their bullshit. In the last year, accidentally, I realize people will just be people. I can not change them and no amount of wishful thinking will change them. And once I started living my life regardless of them I was overall happier. 
  • Less phone. I’m so SICK of phones and social media. It makes me so angry sometimes. I’m sitting there talking to someone and they’re tapping away on some game. Or the constant barrage of questioning whether I’ve seen someone’s post on social media. I’ve tried giving these people a dose of their own medicine but it does not seem to work. So less phone will hopefully be less of a headache. 

It’s 2AM and I am sitting in bed, alone, drinking a cup of tea, watching The Crown and tapping away on the keyboard in the dark in regards to very vague hopes for the new year. People put way too much emphasis on New Years… tonight is literally no different than any other night of my life. But maybe I’m just drinking the haterade… Happy New Year.

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