Hitting PUBLISH

After hitting the publish button was more scary than actually doing it.

I can’t believe I hit “publish” on my first legit blog entry in a long ass time. It was not a book review. It was not about a call from work. It was an entry on how I felt. Scary. But do not get it twisted, I felt absolutely sick to my stomach all morning. I was terrified on how it was be received by people I actually knew in my real life.

When I was younger and used to blog, it was more of a diary I kept. (Yes, I looked up my old LiveJournal accounts – last updated April 2013.) It was a private account though. It is so much easier to write when you know no one you actually know is going to read it. It is another thing knowing your former classmates, or even worse, your co-workers may read it. It’s easy to hide behind the anonymity.

But I did it. I hit “publish”, closed the laptop and got ready for work.

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Is this as good as it gets?

I’m normally a very positive person. I always error on the side of what if…or maybe….(insert positive option here).

For the last several years I’ve approached work (and life) like, if you do good, you’ll get good.

  • I come to work on time
  • I don’t hog all the overtime
  • I don’t abuse my sick time
  • I have excellent time management
  • I do my job the way my bosses and coworkers expect me to
  • In almost 11 years I’ve been written up exactly once.

So imagine the slap in the face I get when after four months in my “new position” I’m told there’s a possibility that I could go back to the schedule I had for years. The position I was thrusted into when others retired and never replaced the one I was forced to leave. For years I was told they were not filling that position. At that point I remember thinking, this is as good as it’s going to get.

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One True Loves

By Taylor Jenkins Reid

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So I maybe actually purchased this book last year with my Barnes and Nobles Settlement credit, and it maybe just sat around on my unused Nook for a year. Maybe.

Bookworm problems, so sue me.

The story is about a woman, Emma, who marries her high school sweetheart, Jessie.  The two support each other in making life decisions they may not have made without one another. Then one day, on their first wedding anniversary, Jessie leaves never to be seen.

Fast forward a few years and Emma has quit her job and returned home. Home is somewhere she never wanted to be before leaving. While home she reconnects with an old friend, Sam. And then, one night the phone rings and it’s Jessie… Continue reading “One True Loves”